Split, right down the center....(update)

I know I've been around handing out positions on the forum for staff members, but overall, there hasn't been much activity from me since the war I had on the ROH boards about a week ago.

The last few days have been inctredibly emotional. Heavy rushes of high emotion at one time does not bode well for me, as I tend to get jittery, nervous, talkative, and obnoxious. Ask my wife. Ok, believe me, because its true.

I took off #235 and locked the threads on the war at the ROH boards because it was pointless. #235 was taken off by WV's brass, and I had zero say in it. if I had the choice, I probably would've deleted it too, after a while.

Am I still pissed at the ROH brass? Sure, I am. I think that siding with fans in debates by office people is bullshit, but that's not for me to discuss now.

what's going on now? too damn much. My life has gone under a microscope, I have put myself in a position where I am more alone now ever than I have been in my life, and that's when I'm working security in an ER in the middle of the night with 40 patients. Room full of people, and I'm more alone than ever. It's not a fun feeling.

Emotion is something not to be overlooked, guys. it's lethal, in every way.

I've read Tyler Black's blogs lately. Most of it I thought was political bullshit. Now, I am starting to buy the stuff as not a schitck for the stable, but literal truth, twisted in to a personal metaphor for my own existence.

Wrestling has not been the escape it has been in the past. I was off beginning of this week, almost slept through Raw, and had not one desire to write about it, and then I did sleep through ECW. I tried doing a podcast to describe what's going on, but I couldn't. It's too conflicting.

It's like the line from Batman Returns. Val Kilmer telling Michelle Pfeiffer, "We're split, right down the center." That's how I feel. One minute, I'm a calm, docile family man, and the next minute, almost involuntarily, ten times worse than the Hulk, and 100 times more obnoxious.

That's basically been my life lately. If there's a shortage in butterflies, they're residing in the pit of my stomach. I swallow them, and they chirp around like it's a tornado in there. It ain't pretty.

I know this is not what you guys want to read here, but it's needed. I need to vent a little, or I'm gonna pop like a bazooka.

I hope you understand.

I wish I did.