Life

The world is completely unfair. To say anything less would be looking at a world with rose colored glasses. I see life as nothing but a series of challenges faced and laced with hurdles of idiocy, stupidity, and cruelty that encompass every single level of the emotional spectrum from rage to outright weeping. From the jackass who claims to have a family emergency one week, and his car breaks down the next, to the manager who doesn't know the meaning of the words, "On time", to the lovely disadvantages dealt my two youngest children with their 'disabilities', to the hormonally challenged teenager who would rather see me hit by a bus than say hello to me, to the move that put my family in a deeper hole because bureaucratic jackasses didn't do their job, to the parental unit who thinks I killed his wife, caused him to get sick, and destroyed the home I grew up in, to the child with absolutely no memory, to the adult with a temper he cannot control, to the adult whose brain continues to think about damage caused to the things he cares about most that may not be fixable, ever, there is a challenge around every single corner, and I don't want to hear a single motherfucking person on the planet tell me that life gets better on the other side. I have thought that, more times than I can care to count, and every single time I think that, something else happens that makes me realize what a pile of horseshit it is. Life isn't fun, life isn't fair, life is cruel, life is a series of sick jokes, depressing circumstances, and disappointments. No matter how hard you try to correct that, and turn things around, and BELIEVE ME WHEN I FUCKING TELL YOU I HAVE BEEN TRYING FOR 11 YEARS since I got married to turn my life around for the better, but no matter how hard you try to be optimistic, there's just no way. I'm doomed to spend the rest of my days as a dour, sad, depressed, and angry son of a bitch with no future, and no hope.

I can live with that, I made my bed, I have to lie in it. What I can't bear is having to watch my children go through their own lives, and not be able to protect them from the hell that awaits.

The phrase, life sucks, and then you die, has never had any more meaning than it does, right now.