Life...

People have been criticizing me for being way too negative on facebook with my status updates.

Well, truth be told, it's one person, and I'd like to have thought that we could be colleagues because we both work for the same website.

I guess not.

When I was a lot younger, I was a lot more inmature, and a lot more insane. Silliness was the norm, and not giving a damn was the general consensus stance I had pretty much 24/7.

Ever since I had children, things have become significantly more difficult. Take in to consideration a lot of other factors that I will not divulge, but the silliness & alleged happiness that I had been portraying for so long had begun to dwindle in volume, considerably.

Now, let's get something straight.

I went to school, and did things ass backwards. People go to school to get a career. I went to school and got a family.

That does not mean in any way that I don't love my family with all my heart, soul, and being.

Because I do. I wouldn't be going through what I am going through for anybody else on this planet.

However, (I'm not going to use the word BUT, because it's not that), however, there are some aspects of my life that I do wish I could do over, and I do regret.

Regret is something that is very hard to shake, and even harder to accept. What's worse is when actions taken have a toll on people you care about, and while you are saddled with the regret and remorse you have in wanting to make the wrong things right, you have to sit there and deal with the discomfort and uncertainty as to what will happen next.

I don't do uncertain well. I don't do change well at all. And there has been some major upheaval in my life over the past few months.

These outlets, facebook,twitter, here, maybe even myspace if I go back there, are here for one reason. They are here for me to spew my guts, and get the negative energy that flows through my body out. For years, decades, I have released the negative energy that has flowed through my body in toxic manners.

Now, I am trying to do that in much more subtle, simpler, and clean manners.

If you don't like it, well, what can I say? people live their lives their own way, and I don't intend on changing much of mine any time soon. I got enough to do.

if you understand, I thank you.

and if you're still saying I'm a fucking negative idiot, well, then....

FUCK YOU.